Rejection..It's Like Playing the Lottery Boys

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"Rejection. This is by far the #1 fear people have. From birth society has programmed us to fear rejection. This makes logical sense because those who are rejected, in general, reap fewer benefits in society (financially and socially). Click here to master this.
In order to get anywhere with other people, you must risk rejection. Avoiding these risks (to subsequently avoid rejection) will leave you in the same position as someone who is rejected 100% of the time. This is not groundbreaking news. You already KNOW this. Why do you still avoid rejection? It's because the rejection itself has prioritized itself over the benefits of acceptance.
Simply put, you must learn to accept rejection is natural and move on in spite of it. Each new person/group is a new opportunity. It's like playing the lottery for free. If you are successful with someone, you're ahead. If you're not successful, you're essentially in the same position as before. So start taking these free spins because if you don't you'll always miss out". Click here to master this.

When You Should and Shouldn't Pay on Dates with Women

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There is so much confusing advice about when guys should pay for dates these days. Let's cut to the chase. It's not complicated.

Here is all you need to know about money and dates:

1. Don't use money to try to impress her.

2. Don't let the bill cause awkwardness.

In practice this comes down to:

A. You are best off assuming that you're going to pay and planning accordingly. This has the additional bonus of showing her you can take care of her, which if done correctly should make her perceive you as dominant rather than supplicative.

B. If she offers to pay, she might just be offering out of politeness. Social convention implies that you should wave this off. If she offers again, or says something like "let me get this one" then let her contribute. Otherwise, you risk violating the second rule: don't let the bill cause awkwardness.

Tip: It's good practice to set up an easy going sharing frame with a woman around the payment. With responses like: "I'll pay for this, and next week you can take me to that wine bar you were telling me about." you get the benefit of smoothly setting up a potential next date. Click here to learn more.

Should You Mirror What She Does?

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Guys often think they have to act the same way the woman is acting, in order for her to be attracted.

Often books on "rapport" suggest rapport-building techniques such as matching a person's voice tone and their pattern of speech, and mirror their gestures, etc.

The idea is that they will think : "You are like me, I like you more".

This can be effective in business situations, but not in attraction.

You can sometimes use this is she feels uncomfortable for some reason, and or at a later stage after you have attraction, but as a rule, not at the beginning of an interaction.

Much better is to understand when SHE is trying to get rapport with you.

If she is showing signs of rapport, mirroring you, synchronizing her body with yours, touching you, laughing with you, then you are on the right track.

The Biggest Myth of What Makes Women Loyal

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There is a big myth commonly accepted as good dating advice. It is this...

"You will get loyalty out of the deal after courting her."

BUT

"People are more loyal to friends than lovers these days."

"The more you sacrifice, the less loyal they are."

When you first meet her you will start setting expectations for the relationship. You need to start with 'friendship' over 'courtship'.

The mistakes is "Putting courtship before friendship or completely forgetting friendship."

The incorrect idea behind this mistake is that if you do everything for a woman, and you sacrifice, you sweat and you bleed for her - she will be loyal to you. In fact, that does not lead to a loyal relationship.

If you set the expectation that you sweat for her. You court her no matter what. She doesn't expect to do anything to support you. She expects you to move sun and earth to serve her whim. It doesn't even make her happy. Women aren't happy being with a guy they don't do anything for.

Quality women want to help their men be better. They want to support him. If he expects a lot from them, if expects her to be good to him, if he expects great things from her, and to make his life better. Then you both make each others lives better. And you breed loyalty.

Is Your Behavior Causing Your Woman to Do Things You Don't Approve of!!!!

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Men typically unwittingly cause the very behaviors they dislike in their women by their own behaviors.

 When she is being negative by being bitchy or dramatic, or perhaps argumentative. It is typically the guy's fault for shaping her behavior that way. All people have negative sides to their personalities, but you are bringing out her worst side.

 How do you do this?

 You react to the undesirable behaviors and criticize or confront her on them. This is counter productive and causes her to do them more.

 Humans are stimulated and rewarded when people give them attention. It doesn't matter whether it is negative or positive attention. So if you give your attention to a girl who is not acting in a way you like, she will just do it more.

 Try ignoring and just taking your attention away from a girl when she is doing something you think is undesirable. This will motivate her to stop it and bring out her better sides.

When Women Complain About their Bodies, Don't...!

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One of the absolute most common errors guys make with their girlfriends is when she complains about her looks. Men are always surprised when they get negative reactions from women after telling her how good she looks as a response.

They've got it all wrong.

If a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing, she is not looking for you to commiserate with her or tell her that it looks okay. She simply won't believe you.

What she really needs is for you to help her change her state of mind from feeling bad about it, to being happy again.

Look behind what she is saying to understand her rather than only looking at the surface of what she is saying. 

She is feeling insecure and lacking confidence in herself at that moment in time. It is a temporary state of mind that could have been brought on by any one of a thousand different events.

You should take this as an opportunity to give her good feelings. The way to do it, is simply to use humor and be playful with her.

An easy way to do this is to "exaggerate" how bad she looks or imply it playfully or so she knows you are making fun of her.

For instance, if she says "My hair looks like hell today", you say "I didn't want to say anything."

You'll usually get a hit on the arm, and she'll tell you you are bad with a big smile on her face.

Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc...

The point is to show her that it isn't important and to put her in a good state of mind.

GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU

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What do most guys do as soon as they meet a REALLY HOT, ultra-attractive woman?

Of course! They call three times a day, and want to see her all the time.

Attractive women know better than to do this.

When an attractive woman meets a man she likes, she usually PLAYS HARD TO GET. Instead of calling, she acts like she's BUSY.

This makes the man try even harder, and pursue her even more...

It sounds like you did exactly the opposite.

In your email here you say:

"Well, over the next two weeks or so, I kept coming over and doing things during the days with her and staying at night. This is when things began to change..."

No no no!

Over the next two weeks you should have called her every few days, and seen her maybe three times for a few hours each.

No "doing things during the days with her and staying at night"!

You really need to remember to GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU!

If you're around all the time, you become predictable, expected, and uninteresting.

On the other hand, if you're mysterious, challenging, and hard to pin down, she will think about you and miss the times she's had with you.

DON'T TURN INTO A WUSSYYYYYYYY...

This is one of the biggest mistakes that men make when they meet a woman that they REALLY like.

As I'm sure you can guess, this is bad bad bad for attraction.

When you start out by doing things that are attractive to her, then gradually turn into a WUSS BAG, you go from her wildest dream to her worst nightmare right in front of her eyes.

If you figure out how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

Don't start being a clingy Wuss. Translation: Don't spend every day and night with her, don't buy her groceries, and don't try to get her into a relationship fifteen minutes after you meet her.

You also mentioned a few little words that stood out for me: "I kept coming over...".

YOU kept coming over. When you're the one coming to her, then she's the one in control. Think about it. This is a small point, and it isn't always the case, but in this situation it makes a difference.

So, what should you do now?

You should give her some space. Don't call her more than once or twice a week, and don't see her more than once or twice a week for awhile. Don't pressure her physically, and don't try to push for a relationship.

DATE OTHER WOMEN! Get out there and go out with some other women... and when you talk to her don't hide the fact that you're doing it. Be casual about it, but feel free to mention it in conversation once or twice.

GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE

Don't get hung up, don't obsess about her, and don't make it important to "win her back". Just move on.

This combination will give you the greatest chance of winning her back...

And the next time you meet a beautiful woman that has an interesting personality, DON'T TURN INTO A PREDICTABLE, BORING, CLINGY, WUSSY!